More Than China Patterns and Gravy Boats

My mate and I, we’ve been married for fifteen years. For some that seems like a blink of an eye, but for the ones living it – it’s long (can’t hardly remember life without him). During the early years of our marriage, many of my friends were getting married too. I attended lots of wedding and bridal showers in preparation for the big day. It was so exciting to see the gifts being uncovered from the silvery wrapping paper and oversized bows. Bridal showers were a time to celebrate and reminisce about my wedding event too. Each gift was a realization of the dream becoming a reality.

But as time went by we transitioned from bridal to baby. The dream shifted from marriage to family. And with it, the fine art of buying baby gifts – one ducky baggie holder, it is the perfect size for your diaper bag & you always have something to put those “diapers-on-the-go” in. Second, a plastic picture book – you can slide pictures in of important people in your precious one’s life. These can be found at Target near the teething toys. Then, depending on boy or girl you find the cutest outfit possible. If I’m being practical I purchase something in the 9 – 12 months, but if I see an “I’ll eat you up, you look so cute in this!” girl outfit, I get it in the birth to 3 month size. Then to top off the gift, I search for the perfect board book. It just wouldn’t be right for the teacher to give a gift that did not include a book.

Today I went to a bridal shower. It’s probably been about ten years since I’ve been to one. Prior to the party, I set out to find a gift. I went up and down the kitchen aisles, admiring platters, pitchers and interesting kitchen gadgets. Since it had been so long since I had done this, I decided that I would purchase things that I would really enjoy having in my own well-worn kitchen. Once I settled on a few brightly colored items, I headed to the wrapping and card section. I picked out a gift bag covered in brightly covered circles and a simple card of congratulations.

It wasn’t until after I was headed home that I remembered that there was a difference between a bridal and wedding shower. Was I going to a bridal or wedding one? Was my gift appropriate? Would I be the oddball who gave cutting knives instead of frilly underwear? Should I go back? Oh, the stress of it all! After much deliberation, and counsel, I decided to go with my original purchase.

As I settled into the couch to watch the bride open gifts, I smiled as her eyes sparkled with glee as she unwrapped the china she and her young beau had selected for their soon-to-be home. The day was filled with delight at the prospect of starting a life together. However, instead of dreaming about my own young marriage, I reflected. Our marriage has taken us beyond the idealism of our youth, and into the wisdom of our years. Years filled with amazing moments of beauty and pain. Tears of joy and tears of angst. Years of learning each other, and loving each other – sometimes, in spite of what we learn. Times of being near and times of distance. Years of shaping and molding ourselves – individually and as a couple. Times of birth and times of grieving. I am so grateful that after fifteen years of marriage I have a mate who loves me, and whom I love.

I know that marriage is more than gravy boats and cutting boards, but sometimes those things are fun, so tonight we pulled out our “fancy” wine glasses and pretty plates in celebration of our not-so-young love.