The "Perfectly" Imperfect Routine

“Today, I will strive to go with the flow.

I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of others.”

 – Melody Beattie

Our little family has a Saturday morning routine. The boys get up early and play Legos in their room. Their battles and creations usually wake us up. We lay in bed. I begin creating a mental list for the day – I need to clean the house (top to bottom) while my perfectly content children play, grocery shop, take a shower, have lunch with a friend, go for a walk, shop for some new clothes, paint the bedroom, make a new plan for losing ten pounds in ten days, write, read, finish some unfinished schoolwork – and take a nap. All while feeling no motherly guilt for doing everything I want to do, and ignoring my sons’ needs. Fortunately for my mate, he typically works on this day.

By the time I actually get out of bed my internal organs are tight and my heart is tense. Now, I know that my expectations are completely unrealistic and unattainable. So, I begin the process of taking myself back off the ledge, hoping to do this without any family member losing a limb in the process. I take deep breathes and head to the kitchen. The children have made several demands of, “I’m hungry!” To which I reply, “How could you ask me a polite question?” I pour cereal (with and without milk), make toast, get drinks. I sit with them and make attempts to engage in their young conversation, trying my best to ignore the kitchen that looks like it’s been untouched for days. Once their needs are met I send them off to watch morning cartoons.

Now for me. I pull out the small frying pan. As the oil heats in the pan I open up the raisin English muffin and slide it into the toaster. The crack of the egg causes me to breathe just a bit slower. After adding a bit of salt and pepper to the pan, I turn to my beverage selection. Since I’m trying to be better about making healthy choices I grab my red mug and fill it with warm tea. However, I can feel the tension in my fingertips, so after a couple sips I decide it’s not quite enough. It doesn’t take me long to find my tall sturdy tumbler and fill it with cold bubbly diet coke. The mixture of fizzing soda and a sizzling egg cause a slight smile to cross my lips. I’ll try again tomorrow to make a healthy choice.

Today, I accidentally dropped my ear buds for my iPod into my tea, overcooked my egg, made another one, and dropped my iPod on the floor (twice). But, whatever – the routine must go on.

Once my breakfast dance is done, I settle myself at the end of our table. I’ve collected my stack of books and journals that I like to read during this time. Books that remind me of who I am and what I believe, journals that are filled with quotes and Saturday morning thoughts, and blank pages waiting for me to share my latest joys and sorrows. I pop in my headphones and begin listening to my choice Pandora radio station.

It is this routine that transitions me from a work week, past unrealistic expectations, to a weekend that is filled with (hopefully) realistic plans. Time to love on family, return the home to some semblance of normal, relax and care for self – and breathe. Long, deep, cleansing breathes.

Not a perfect routine, but a routine non-the-less.